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(no subject) [Jan. 17th, 2010|08:56 pm]
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

it is january. what's up livejournal? neglect stings, doesn't it? i've been reading the friends page every once in a while, so not all's lost.

new in my life:
1. a job! i'm officially a busser at mama's royal cafe. what do you make of that? i like it so far, it's pretty stressful but it's fun, too. and i'm makin' money which is awesome.
2. some new nicknames since i've be(st)friended harley/clancy scrumpton: Gretel and Cunt Dog (or emcee cunt dog)
3. workin' on the friend thing. being a good one, and having good ones. not expelling energy on bad ones. making female ones, too. being careful, cautious, caring. it's nice.
4. i'm in love with someone
5. school is exciting! i did really well last semester, and plan on doing even better this next semester. i'm taking english, math, psychology, intermediate acting and a speech class called voice and diction. i'm really stoked.

that's about all i can think of in a summarizing kind of way. i'm really pretty happy with myself, and have done a lot of growing the past year and i'm proud of myself. i'm in a good place and it's nice. livejournal!
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(no subject) [Oct. 2nd, 2009|12:29 am]
i miss writing. it doesn't even really make sense as to why i don't do it anymore. i kept a journal every day while i was at camp, and even when i was out of my mind exhausted at the end of the day sometimes, i still wrote something, even if it was crazy tiny ramblings. there's stuff going on with me, and it's important to me, but its all so dwarfed by the importance of what i was doing at camp. god's good work, i guess! but now i find myself doing much more trivial things, like ballin' out of intellectual-control in my classes, practically raising my neighbors' kids via my godesslike babysitting skills, and reading campy, delicious, engrossing, costco-books like this one:

i actually just finished the thousand page fucker mere hours ago. i threw my arms in the air in triumph. hauling that thing around might have herniated a disc or two. speaking of which, i am still job-less, and thus still insurance-less, but regard-less of these things, i could really do with a medical check up. i fear i may be low in calcium or iron or some such thing.

but i did finish the unbearable lightness of being a few weeks ago, as well, and my goodness.. what a book. i have the movie from netflix sitting on the washing machine outside my room but i'm putting it off, not totally sure why. i just don't want to soil what i got from the book, just yet, probably.

anyway, i'm waiting to hear back from a job that bernie's trying his hardest to get me at the district attorney's office. i talked to my grandma today, for the first time in a few weeks, and she asked me if i'd gotten it yet, all excited and what not. not only do i really need this job, i now feel like i owe it to my grandma to make her proud. i know i'll get it, and like bernie said, it's a matter of when, not if. so i guess all i have to do is be patient.

in other news, i went on a cute little awkward date with a guy from my humanities class last weekend. i think he's really sweet and interesting, but i'm not sure if there's a real connection, and if there is, if we're anywhere near on the same level in regards to it. and my goodness, he's cute.
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Last Updated: 15 weeks ago [Sep. 27th, 2009|10:04 pm]
so.................. HEY GUYS
let's see.
camp was the ultimate in legit. i worked hard, saw my work pay off, had energy, influenced kids, led kids and fellow staff, made amazing friends, learned important lessons. got exhausted towards the end, though, because i didn't have the foresight to realize that i might have wanted/needed a week off somewhere in the middle of it all. if i get hired back next year, i'll definitely take explorations week off because i can't hike anyway. but i basically spent the summer creating goals for myself and meeting them, which is something that can't be topped, really!

if i don't get hired back next year (knock on wood) then i plan to push through a summer semester at DVC and see what on earth i can do about transferring somewhere. i still haven't lost my desire to move to portland, but only time will tell! everything at home is really wonderful, anyway. my dad and his girlfriend are really cool, they love each other a lot and casey is doing a good job being a positive person in theo's life, so i'm satisfied with that. my mom is doing really well, theo is doing really well at his new middle school, he's a lot happier. even my grandma is doing well in spite of her failing health. i'm taking four classes this semester: humanities (how to look at art), drama (how to be the thesbian goddess i truly am), comparitive film (get credit for watching movies), and african american psychology (how white people have screwed black people over in american history). DVC is legit this semester, simply because i'm focusing on making it be that way. i'm makin' friends which is awesome, and ceasing my former life of depressed reclusiveness.

so i'm basically doing ridiculously well. also, i don't use this thing so much anymore because tumblr rules hardcore. make one! or not! http://kneecap.tumblr.com

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(no subject) [Jun. 9th, 2009|12:49 pm]
[mood |nervousnervous]

my bank account went under! fuck USA, i'm applying for bankruptcy like everybody else.
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(no subject) [Jun. 6th, 2009|01:00 pm]
i'm getting on a plane in a couple of hours and all i can think about is how when i get into my mom's car and hug her, i'm going to ask her if she'd be interested in going on a quest to find a banana split at 9 at night.

banana split!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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i caved [Jun. 3rd, 2009|09:30 pm]

at least it's not a twitter, guys.
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(no subject) [Jun. 3rd, 2009|11:35 am]

why does this have to happen to me? i came to the realization yesterday, after watching my kneecap be on the wrong side of my fucking leg, that i should find a pair of comfortable knee braces and wear them constantly to prevent this stupid bullshit. why am i such an old lady???! fuck!
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(no subject) [Jun. 1st, 2009|11:37 am]
portland is great. there's this bus, the 72, that goes past a high school, through the boonies full of strip clubs and adult movie houses, past the trailer parks. the melodramatic stories shouted into cellphones on that line are what movies are made of. the legless, the shirtless, the hopeless all mount that bus only to get off a few stops later, for the sake of convenience and perhaps the brief exposure to the air conditioning. it's been hot, 90 degree weather, the kind where the sun and the pavement get into some kind of cosmic argument and everyone just gets caught in the middle of it. i'm realizing how insubstantial the ventilation in my vans are. and how i only own one pair of shorts.

i've been having intense dreams here, too. the night before last, i watched people in a canvas tent get mauled by a tiger, and the night before that, i freed a bird from a spiderweb. one night i dreamt that i put a goulash on my foot. i took it as a sign that i should most definitely move here.

i do really miss it at home, though. i miss my family, my house, sosha, my neighborhood. i've never ever been homesick before, and it's totally amazing because it means that everything at home is good right now, which also means that now is the best time to leave. i know i have good people at home, and good people to come home to if i fuck up or if things fall apart like they did in boston. and i know that i bring the energy in my house wherever i go, so that's reassuring. i haven't seen my dad happy in a long time, and while i know that my mom is having a hard time, i've been doing everything i can to let her know that i love her and i know that on some innate level, that makes her happier than she's been in a long time, too.

last night i had a dream about lindsay lohan because i was talking about her all day yesterday. i'm going to write her a letter and let her know that another human being on this earth cares about her and her well-being. maybe i'll start a blog, sending more letters to more spiritually hapless celebrities letting them know that i care. it will either be called Hey Dude: Grace Cares, or Celebrity Outpost, or Cheer Up Motherfucker, It's Just Life!

speaking of "it's just life!", i've been feeling so anxious lately. it's because of camp. it's starting in less than two weeks, and i feel slightly unprepared. i just need to make a list of things i need to get together for myself and do one thing at a time. right now the list writing itself is pretty daunting. i can do it, though! i will make it my mission to sit down and do that today. after i get up, take a shower, and go to jason's and watch a movie. i love jason! i was helping him weed his garden a few days ago, and he tentatively offered me a room in his gigantic, beautiful house. i have two amazing offers already! i'm so lucky.
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(no subject) [May. 31st, 2009|08:39 pm]
i want someone to take a picture of me trying to emulate this:

i go to camp so soon! yes!
gotta get a pair of overalls. and some eco-friendly bug repellent.
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(no subject) [May. 30th, 2009|05:58 pm]
[mood |lovedloved]

mikey took me on a date to a sushi train restaurant and then to ride the rose festival ferris wheel the other day, and today he made a picnic for us in the cemetery where we sat and ate delicious sandwiches and fed bread to the squirrels
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